Well, my roommate met a boy online. I guess that was why we signed up for these sites in the first place, so she could meet boys. But still. It's not fair. Although it was really exciting. We convinced her to message him the first day she signed up. She and "Spike", as we affectionately refer to him, had been messaging volumous essays back and forth for a few weeks now. Finally, he suggested they meet up for coffee.
I had plans to go downtown with her anyways, to replace her candle holder that my cat broke, so we decided I would go to the coffee shop a few minutes after just to make sure things were going okay. If it looked like she was safe and comfortable, I'd leave.
Plans were set for 1:30 at the Solstice Cafe, which neither of us had been to before. So she left me to meet up with him, and I walked over about ten minutes later after trying on a cute green dress in one of the boutiques. They were just about to get their drinks when I walked in. I very studiously pretended not to recognize her and avoided eye contact. They sat in the back corner. I was forced to sit directly across from them, only table left. He was cute, cuter than his photos. I was surprised at how unawkward the whole thing seemed! I can't imagine talking to someone I met off the internet with that much ease. So, after I finished my soup and tea (I was cold!) I left them. I wasn't worried.
I arrived home, and an hour passed. She wasn't home yet. Then another hour, then another. We began to worry. How long can coffee take? Then, like four hours or something after I got home, she arrives.
"What the hell were you doing?" I yelled when she came in. Apparently, they'd been in the coffee shop the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME. That's just nuts. That should be like, an OkCupid advertising testimonial or something. Although, she won't speak explicitly on the romantic context of their "date." Makes sense, because did I mention, he has a girlfriend.
Yes, Spike is one of many OkCupid users in open, or polyamourous, relationships. Apparently it's really common. At least on OkCupid. While my roomie and I argue over the definition, here is what I have gathered the majority of the people online define it as:
They seem to have a primary lover. Then, they take secondary lovers that may or may not join their relations with the primary. It's not a polygamous situation where there is a three way relationship. At least not in most of the cases on here, like Spike's. It seems to be quite popular on OkCupid and I'm not sure why. PlentyofFish users seem to be less polyamorous and more, we're a couple looking for a girl to play with us. I'm still undecided how I feel about this. It might be something I have to make a decision on if one of them messages me. It's interesting because OkCupid offers the relationship statuses single and available to accomodate polyamorous people. Is this something that is common that I was just missing? Please, let me know if you've run across this!
Speaking of, did I mention a girl on PlentyofFish wants me to meet her for coffee as a seque into having a threesome with her and her boyfriend? Apparently the experience is more for her, but she wants him to be involved. I told her I'd think about it, because I didn't know what else to say! But I don't quite think that is something I am comfortable with, to say the least. She was very nice and non-perverted about it though.
Conclusion: The online dating world is a much more interesting, or at least openly interesting, place than what I encounter in my day-to-day life. I just need to come to terms with how I'm going to navigate it!
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